Well week 5 ended last Thursday and I was 16st 1lb (seem to be hanging around that area) but still a good loss from where I started and I must remember that this program is not all about weight loss, it is about sorting out my compulsive habits and crazy head. Weight loss comes as an added benefit when I commit to abstinence, which I am sad to say has not happened yet - but I must remember to live one day at a time, as today has been great so far and thus it could be the first day of my abstinence. Not sure I am in the right mind set but all I can do is pray and turn it over to God and ask for his help in this situation.
I am feeling really quite positive. I was driving to work yesterday and I was thinking about all the things I had to look forward to and I am not talking about big and exciting things, just things like meeting a friend at toddler group, going to my ED meeting etc and I realised I am quite content at the moment and really trying to live in the moment - not thinking too far ahead. It is very nice.
When I think back to this time last year I had been at the doctors crying about how I could not cope and felt so down, they had given me prozac, which I refused to take and I just started to pour out my feelings and tell the world (but especially my virtual and real twin mummy friends - thank you special ladies) how I felt. This helped me so much and within a few months I felt like me again and enjoyed being a mummy and wife again. Message for any women reading - you are not superwoman or supermum and do not try to be. One woman can only do so many things in a day and if you try to do more, especially with a hint of perfection then you will fail and end up feeling completely miserable and out of control - take it from an expert! lol
So now I had better get on with some work, a good day awaits me..............