Saturday 25 April 2009

It's been hard today...........

Update following on from earlier.........

It has been a really hard day. It is now 8pm ish and I feel more in control. I am just having my tea and foodwise I have been pretty darn good today. I did go off plan but not to have anything naughty or more calorific (just because the Shepherd's pie I planned to have could not be cooked from frozen. Note to self: check earlier next time!)

I have felt like a proper addict going cold turkey today. I have thought about and craved food, especially bad comfort food (chocolate, biscuits etc) so many times today and have prayed and come through it. It does feel good to know this is the second day without any bad snacking and day 2 of no chocolate. It might not sound a lot but it is a start......... 1 day at a time I must remember.

Dh and I had planned to take the kids to the lake/ park after he finished work today and it looked like it might rain so I kept thinking about going out for a meal instead. This I decided is OK if I am going for entertainment/ to enjoy food/ to socialise.

Later during the afternoon I broke my new shoes (2 weeks old, gorgeous, just worn in, £35 in the sale!) and I was gutted, on an instant downer. My immediate thought was that I now needed a take-away to help me feel better about it. Luckily I caught that thought and realised what I was doing. I started convincing myself I could have a healthy take-away (a grilled chicken kebab with salad - no sauce) and then it would be OK to do so. I met with dh and we did our walk round the lake and I explained to him and he reaffirmed that if I am going to eat because it is comfort to me and it is to mask another feeling then I must resist and hold back. I am pleased to say I am sat here with a healthy tea I cooked myself.

So tomorrow is another day and I am going to keep journeying and trying my best with Gods help. I am also going to be firm and not weigh myself until next Thursday morning - please Lord let there be a lovely surprise for my hard work.