Monday, 19 May 2014

Confessions from Imperfect Parents - BritMums Carnival

Good morning, welcome to this meeting of Imperfect Parents Anonymous. You won’t find any judgement in this room, you are amongst friends here. Let’s take some time to introduce ourselves and then I’ll open the meeting for sharing.

‘Hi, my name is Michelle and I’m an imperfect parent’. I hold my breath, shuffle my feet, what will the response be? ‘Hi Michelle, welcome if you are one of us’. Phew, there appear to be a few of us around, let’s see what everyone is confessing in the room today….

We seem to be a diverse bunch at first glance, those of us sitting here at an Imperfect Parents Anonymous meeting. Most of us have at least one thing in common, be it allowing the kids to watch too much or undesirable TV, giving chocolate to bribe the kids to do what we want them to, not picking up the toys, not bothering with the ironing or putting a pizza in the oven instead of topping up their 5 a day! Oh yes, us imperfect parents have some stories to tell.

I’ll start us off – It’s been a good week but I want to share that yet again I am being influenced by the media and feeling like I need to change myself in order to fit in, I know this is not a good message to pass onto my kids and I do want to be able to accept myself and pass on this message.

Kendel at The House of Three Monkeys jumps straight in with a confession, her son has no bedtime routine but I have to agree with her, at age 2 is it hurting anyone if he sleeps in his Mums bed and after some family changes and a stay in hospital you can see why he might prefer it there.

It’s great to see a man here with us women; parenting imperfectly is not just something mums do after all. Disillusioned Dad is grateful that he gets the opportunity to be a parent and yes, also a reminder that parenting is bloody hard work and we should not be fighting with our spouses about whose day was hardest. We all have it tough at times!

Next up is Kel from Writings, Ramblings and Reviews and she shares that she had no school place for her little one come September. This is a fraught time for her as they wait to see if their appeal and late applications have a fruitful outcome.

Kerry is feeling a little guilty as she shares with us her view, that exams are a punishment for parents. No longer able to deny being a pushy parent she is musing whether her own mother had the right idea by using reverse psychology.

A good reminder from Aly at Over a Cuppa, as she shares that teenagers are just like toddlers really, but perhaps even more work. It is always good to be reminded that perfect parenting and perfect kids do not exists and when we accept that things will go a bit pear shaped at times we can actually do a better job.

You have to admire Helen’s honesty when she shares with us that she just does not enjoy playing with her kids. I can totally relate and frankly I’d rather have a cuppa too!

Southwark Belle offers us a bit of light relief next, in the form of fun captions for those perfect parents type images that you see splattered across the net, have a peek and I defy you not to giggle at least once!

Sarah at Mum of Three World is in mourning, it has come to her realisation that the kids no longer love the play park as much as she does, well perhaps that should be did – you know, before the bird pooed on her head!

I love the honesty from Cass at Diary of a Frugal Family as she raises the question of bribing your children. She shares with us a number of occasions when she does and asks, that’s alright, surely?

I’m humming Boyzone as I read the post from Secrets from the Sandpit titled ‘no matter what’. It is so good to see a good solution to ensure that her child still feels loved and she stills feels like a good parent at the end of every challeneging day when her toddler had been ignoring her, kicking her at nappy chance and playing with dangerous things!

I really enjoyed this next post and the title certainly resonated with me ‘are my kids crazy?’ asks Jennifer at Sitting in the Pew. I certainly know those days when all the kids decide to act out together and just as you are on your last ounce of patience someone arrives to have a nice little chat with you. This is a great reminder that we must not let the kid’s bad attitude give us one of our own.

Oh the shame as Kate tells us how her 5 year old is constantly out-smarting her right now and just when she thinks she knows what he is up to and will get one over on her, nope he is ahead of the game again!

Older Single Mum tells us the truth about being an older mum, is she flying the flag or warning us against it, you need to read and see…

Liz at Me and My Shadow tells a tale of being woken too early, of constant morning questions and being left behind as your daughter scoots off to school. Sometimes it just feels as if our need to chat and theirs is not very closely aligned.

Having a new baby and other small kids is a challenge for us all and Sara at the Mummy Madness shares her down days and how she is pushing people away at the moment for fear that they may see her fail, I can remember those days of trying to be supermum when my twins were little, thankfully they do pass.

I had to chuckle at this question from Cuddles, Muddles and Muddy Puddles ‘Please tell me I am not alone in trying – and failing – to live up to some fantasy notion of domesticity?’ I think every parent has tried at some point to have that perfect day, the one where everything goes to plan and you still look like you stepped from the cover of a magazine.  It’s never going to happen is it?

Lou at Redeemed Stories offers us a great reminder that guilt is worthless when it comes to parenting. All those silly little things we worry about won’t affect our children and we ought to just get on with the job of loving them.

Julie at Eternal sonata of a spotless piñata gives us a funny post about the 7 pitfalls of toddler photography. From the stages gorgeous photos and toothy grins of our babes to the now messy and unpredictable toddlers, quite how will we get a good shot?

I’ll close the Imperfect Parenting carnival with a great posts from Sara at Walking with Angels. This is a superb reminder that we are real people and not robots that can turn on perfection like a tap. Her last words are Let us all be beautifully imperfect and Let’s all be messy.  I could not of said it better myself

I do hope you have enjoyed this meeting of Imperfect Parents Anonymous, please leave a comment for some of the contributors and I’m sure they will do the same and come visit you too. Mich x

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