.....and if I am honest I have no desire to be a dead fish. And that is really good for me to remember!
I had a bit of a wobble this week, a bloggy wobble. I got an email to say that I was a Brilliance in Blogging finalist in the Outstanding category and whilst I thought 'ohh that's nice' I did not really think any more of it. I didn't even mention it as part of my #R2BC the other day. I have no idea why this did not register as a big deal, but it is and I thank all of you who voted for me.
Then a couple of days later the finalists were announced for the MAD blog awards and my name was not there and you know what? I was absolutely gutted. I have no idea why it cut so deep or why I expected to see my name there but I even had a little cry. I knew it was illogical and that I had done absolutely nothing to canvass for nominations; my Mum or husband had not even nominated for goodness sake. That tells you how active I was at informing and encouraging people. Yet I had become complacent and felt it would just happen. I had become a dead fish and was being washed along with the tide.
I have taken a few days away from blogging and been doing some serious thinking and I have come to realise that as far as blogging goes I have inadvertently become a dead fish, by that I mean that I have been going with the flow set by others. I have preempted what I believe the expectation is of a successful blog and tried to fit that. I have posted daily as I thought that was what was expected, I have coveted luxury goods to review, I have craved prestigious events to attend and I have commented and visited a ton of forums and blogs, all to emulate the most popular bloggers. I don't think I even realised I was doing some of it.
But......that is not what this blog was for. I never set out to be top 20 in the Tots100, Ebuzzing and Cision charts. I did not set out to be a household name in parenting blogs. I did not set out to be the blog that everyone assumed would make the shortlist. My blog is all about an imperfect Christian mum/ woman showing that she is pretty average and not too off the wall! This is where I share my faith, positivity, journey with my food demons and imperfect parenting moments and hopefully inspire others to do the same.
Sometimes you readers tell me that you relate and that it helps you and that is perfect. Meeting that goal has to be more important than a glitzy ceremony and a nice prize? Because if I am honest I think that was the attractive part of the MADs, otherwise I would have been excited by the BiBs too, wouldn't I?
I don't like sharing this with you and revealing how shallow I am but if nothing else dear reader I am always as honest with you as I can be. So as I realise this, I admit to you yet another character defect, one that I can work with God to overcome.
I want to thank the super Mari for her great blog post titled 'How important is a blogging award?' that I read the other night and some wise words of hers really spoke to me 'don't let it affect who you are and what you are blogging for'. Brilliant, she has said it all.
One real bonus of blogging that I never ever expected was the superb friends I have made, people like these fab ladies, they are the icing on the cake!
Be blessed, Blogging rocks when we do it for the right reasons, our own reasons, whatever they may be. Mich x
NB: I know the written word can come across wrong, so I add this end note to say that I have every respect for the organisers of both awards, I wish all the finalists the very best and I hope they have a ball and that I am not calling any other blogger a dead fish. Just me, I was the one going with the flow.