Wednesday 6 April 2011

Am I who I seem to be?

Ready for my Mummy Blogger Event at London Zoo with Vosene on Saturday
It's a good question isn't it? 

If you are a regular reader or if we chat in forums, on twitter or facebook you probably feel like you know me.  'Of course' you say, 'You are Mich, a loving mummy with 3 kids, you have a dh who is really good with the kids, you're a Christian, a strong and assertive woman, you give good advice and mostly you are very positive'.  I have heard this description from lots of people over time, that is often who people think I am.

But is that me? Do I come across on my blog as I really am in real life?

A couple of years back I met a few twins mums and we had a weekend away together, these were people I had chatted to on a daily basis for at least two years.  They knew the on-line Mich very well, they had been through all the ups and downs with me.  I had moderated the twins board for a while, won the award for how clean is your house and offered advice dozens of times to them, as they had me.  As we travelled home from our delightful weekend a couple of the women commented that I was a lot more 'normal' than they might have expected and far more lively and fun than they had envisioned.  Apparently on-line I come across as very nice but quite straight laced and serious.  This makes me smile big time!  I am not at all serious, I love fun and laughter with my family and friends. I am the one who does not have to drink to have a good time, up for a dance, give me a mic and I'll karaoke the night away.

The next year I met the twin mummies again and another one joined us and on the train journey home she commented to me that she had been nervous to meet me, as she thought I may judge her as she is Pagan and I am Christian. I explained that my perspective is that I have no right to judge anyone, only God may judge.  As a Christian my job is to be Christ like and to walk as Jesus would have and this means being accepting of everyone.  This is not a dilution of my faith, I do not think being Pagan is the right choice, for me there is only one choice and that is to be saved by Jesus but I accept free choice and I love people for who they are.

Recently I spoke to my Mum and one of my best friends L and asked them if I came across as me in my blog.  They both said definitely, so that is good to hear  but I do think what lacks in my on-line me (and I am not sure why, its not contrived) is the down to earth normal Mich, full of insecurities like anyone else.  An armadillo is what I often refer to myself as, hard on the outside with a very soft inside. I put my foot in my mouth without meaning too and am then crushed that I have hurt someone. Truly I am a person of contrasts, content to be in with my hubbie in front of the TV and just as happy to be with the girls on the dance floor. Nervous to be at a networking event but completely in my comfort zone making a formal presentation to 100 people.

So am I who you think I am?  If you have met me at a blogger event, was I as you expected?  Cybermummy will be interesting for some people to see the real Mich.

And now a little warning to all my wonderful friends, especially the newer bloggers. Always be on your guard and protect yourself. Not everyone is who they seem.  There are such things as trolls who join forums or write blogs for their own selfish reasons.  They are not genuine and true and always get found out in the end but often people get hurt in the meantime.

It is not even always the case that these people mean to hurt others, sometimes they have mental health problems, sometimes they are so mixed up they think it is their life they are blogging about but sometimes they are evil.  I once knew someone and I loved them as a person who used chat rooms to be a completely different person.  They hated their life and the shell they felt trapped in so they created an alter ego and wrote as that person.  No hurt was intended but of course people got hurt. Lies always hurt.

So my advice is if you notice someone often tells you one thing and then changes the story a short while later to put them on your 'be aware radar'. No one has too many inconsistencies in their life!

Be well and happy!  Mich x
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