Ella at Notes From Home runs a carnival every Friday and I have joined in once before and always mean to join in more, as she is one very lovely blogger but I forget and get distracted and all those kind of things........ but this week I saw her theme of '5 things I would like my children to know about me' and I have been thinking on it all day. I am a really open person, even with my kids I will admit my faults, I'll say sorry and as they get older I will tell them about all the silly things I have done in my time so I am having trouble trying to decide what 5 things I would like them to know about me but I'll give it a go... and I am writing this to my children -
- I love you, my children so much. Yes the really obvious one but where else would I start to be honest? I never thought I would have children, I had no interest in them and had hardly even held a baby before JJ came along. It just shows that when you are with the right person nature takes over and you want to reproduce. My babies you are the heart of my heart and I would be lost without any one of you. Each of you completes me and brings a little something different to my life. You each have taught me important life lessons and helped me to develop as a person. My increased patience, my tolerance, my ability to love and my kindness have all improved due to you special little people and in the same vein I love each of you equally. This amazing concept still baffles me. Once I had JJ my heart was filled so full of love for my gorgeous boy that I did not think there would be room for anyone else but then along came you girls and my heart space grew. Each of you is so different and unique and it amazes me each day how much I love every one of you.
- You need to know that I will never judge you. I empower each one of you to fulfil your own potential, whatever that may be. You are free to make choices and make mistakes, I hope you will learn from them but it is your personal journey and what will be, will be. If you make any choices in your life that mean you do not follow what society holds as the norm that is not a problem to me. I hope you will stay within the law and that you will be kind and respectful people but outside of that, knock yourself out - just go for whatever floats your boat!
- That as much as it may hurt me, if I need to take the hard line in parenting I will. If you are going off the tracks and need reigning in, that is Daddy's and my job, we are parents first and friends second. Parenting is not supposed to be easy it is supposed to be rewarding. Watching you develop and grow into adults will be an amazing journey for me and one which I am totally loving thus far.
- That my faith is incredibly important to me and that I would love for each one of you to grow up and choose to stay with the Christian faith. However, you need to know that if you do not I respect that and you will be treated no different to your siblings no matter what each of you choose. Daddy and I chose to marry as Christians and this means we believe God is a part of our loving marriage. Daddy and I have committed to spend our lives together and a big part of the joy of doing that is you three. I hope to grow old with your Daddy as much in love with him when I am 70 as I am today.
- When you are older I will tell you about my battle, the demon I fight with every day. The one that I sincerely pray you will avoid. I love each of you too much to know that I have passed my food obsession to you. It is painful being an addict and watching the harm you do to people as you try to sooth a craving. At the moment my recovery journey is a painful one but this is because I am working and I am discovering and I am trying to mend my ways. All this I do with the hope of being content and happy in my own skin and I long to be able to pass this legacy of being content on to you.
So there we go, not as hard as I feared actually. Those are 5 key things that I would like my children to know about me, at the right stages of their lives of course. Thanks Ella for making me think about some important stuff today.