O5rcB_NXbIeHbJV7JFNcdfqL-vY Mummy From The Heart...: April 2009

Thursday, 30 April 2009

End of week 1 celebration

So I weighed myself this morning, having got to a week after I started my ED meeting and started 'being good'. I am pleased to report that I have lost 4lb. At first I was not so pleased with this as normally when I start a diet I can shift 1/2 stone easily. I then had to remind myself I had not been on a diet the last week - I have eaten well and enjoyed my food, last night I even went out and had garlic bread and a meat calzone - so I have not exactly been depriving myself. How great is that to cut out chocolate and cakes and to have lost 4lb?

Some times have been really difficult, others have been a breeze but I have been aware of how I have been eating all week and I have not allowed myself to eat from comfort. So generally I am pleased with my week 1 progress.

Off to my meeting tonight to learn a bit more and hopefully be inspired to carry on for another week.

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Dress for the job you want

I was watching a programme earlier and they were talking about the woman dressing for the career she wants rather than the one she has. This tied in with my thoughts earlier today when I was at work. I handed over some work and asked someone to do something and was told that it should be the line managers responsibility. We are quiet in my team at the moment and the issue is definitely a HR one, so I suppose the difference is that I dress and think for the job I want, not the one I have. Having always done a higher level/ more demanding role in the past (before having my kids and taking this part-time role) I still have the same mentality of getting the job done and ensuring the customer knows they are king. It just reminded me today that not everyone is like me and that some people are quite happy to dress for the job they have, because in fact that is the one they want. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing bad about this and I am not putting them down, it is just interesting to see how different people function.

I really find it hard to understand why some people get hung up with apportioning blame and wanting to know who made an error rather than the bigger issue of why the error was made and how we are dealing with it to ensure it is rectified this time and does not happen again. I have noticed changes in myself in the last year or so, especially since being back at work. I am enjoying my role being more supervisory again and having to take on different tasks. Also taking that overall helicopter view again is interesting.

I don't think there is a real point to today's blog entry (lol) but I did find it interesting to realise how much I am now enjoying my work and that I have yet again started to think about the future and my career options. I will try not to get too hung up on this as God may have other plans for me in a more Christian based vocation...................I will wait on the Lord and see.

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Feeling very pleased with myself

.........but not in a smug way, just in a 'well done Mich, keep it up' kind of way.

I am feeling pleased with myself firstly, because I presented at a training course today and really enjoyed myself and got good feedback from a number of people. Apparently my skills are wasted in my current job, I also got told I should become a lecturer as I have the rare skill to present information clearly in a fun and informative way.

The second reason I am feeling very good is the amount of times I have resisted temptation today. Cakes arrived at work this morning, 8 tubs of gorgeous M&S mini cakes to be precise and I do love those but I was determined not to have any - I checked the packets out, peered into the tubs and yaaay did not take a thing. I settled for my yogurt instead. I am now on day 5 of abstinence from chocolate and cakes.

Later I was bathing the girls and JJ (thinking he was being kind) bought me up a lump of chocolate - I promptly binned it to keep it away from me.

I also went to aqua yesterday, the gym today and tomorrow I intend to gym and swim.

I now just need to keep this up for life...................lol, one day at a time remember Mich!

Monday, 27 April 2009

I am so blessed

I was just on my way back from an aqua aerobics session and was feeling so motivated when I realised I really ought to post about how blessed I am. All that kept coming to mind was the song 'I feel lucky'.

So for a happy post of the day - here is why I am so blessed -
  • I love my hubbie and he loves me (I also fancy him too!)
  • I have three Divine children, who are sparky and vivacious as well as loving and caring
  • I get to work for 2.5 days per week which gives me some time to be an adult and earn a bit of money too
  • I get to spend the other 4.5 days per week with my kids and doing mummy things like, school runs, coffee mornings, toddlers groups, oh and a cleaning too! lol
  • There is enough time on my working days (be it early morning or lunchtime) to go to the gym, have a swim, do aqua etc
  • We have found a great new Church to become part of
  • I have some wonderful long term Christian friends and some great new Christian friends who all support me in prayer
  • I also have some fab friends who I have now known for about 15 years and love and miss so much
  • I have a great group of mummy friends who share all my parenting struggles
  • My kids have fab Godparents who really bless them

and now I should be working, so that is it for now!

Saturday, 25 April 2009

It's been hard today...........

Update following on from earlier.........

It has been a really hard day. It is now 8pm ish and I feel more in control. I am just having my tea and foodwise I have been pretty darn good today. I did go off plan but not to have anything naughty or more calorific (just because the Shepherd's pie I planned to have could not be cooked from frozen. Note to self: check earlier next time!)

I have felt like a proper addict going cold turkey today. I have thought about and craved food, especially bad comfort food (chocolate, biscuits etc) so many times today and have prayed and come through it. It does feel good to know this is the second day without any bad snacking and day 2 of no chocolate. It might not sound a lot but it is a start......... 1 day at a time I must remember.

Dh and I had planned to take the kids to the lake/ park after he finished work today and it looked like it might rain so I kept thinking about going out for a meal instead. This I decided is OK if I am going for entertainment/ to enjoy food/ to socialise.

Later during the afternoon I broke my new shoes (2 weeks old, gorgeous, just worn in, £35 in the sale!) and I was gutted, on an instant downer. My immediate thought was that I now needed a take-away to help me feel better about it. Luckily I caught that thought and realised what I was doing. I started convincing myself I could have a healthy take-away (a grilled chicken kebab with salad - no sauce) and then it would be OK to do so. I met with dh and we did our walk round the lake and I explained to him and he reaffirmed that if I am going to eat because it is comfort to me and it is to mask another feeling then I must resist and hold back. I am pleased to say I am sat here with a healthy tea I cooked myself.

So tomorrow is another day and I am going to keep journeying and trying my best with Gods help. I am also going to be firm and not weigh myself until next Thursday morning - please Lord let there be a lovely surprise for my hard work.

Grace in small things

1. I feel so much happier than I did this morning, my belly is full and my head feels a bit more sorted............ for now.
2. The girls are having a lovely nap right now
3. JJ and I have been making some cards for people, he is such a sweetie
4. dh is coming home early today so we can take the kids to the park
5. the sun might not be out but at least it is not raining! (watch it start now!)

Right off outside to clean the windows and frames while the girls nap

Update on the kids

Thought I would do a more positive post and give an update on where my gorgeous twinnies and handsome young man are at the moment.

The girls - 21 months
Both now chat, M more so. In fact she will copy everything you say to her. Her pronunciation is not great but she will try hard - she learnt to say sorry (orry) yesterday and that is very cute. She is practising that lots on E. E says less but is actually much better with sounding her words out, whereas M will say 'dum dum', E will say is a small, cute voice 'dummy please'.

They are running around behind me now in the living room having a right giggle with each other, that is the gorgeous thing about twins - they do appear to have such fun. I think JJ feels quite left out sometimes and he tries to join in but of course he is so much more boisterous than them so it can ends in tears.

Both girls love to dress up, especially E with hair clips, 'pretty' she tells me and does a twirl. M is more into clothes and will tell you 'wow wee' when you dress her in something new. She is currently wearing a pink frilly Dora sunhat, which seems to be her favourite item right now - whatever the outfit! ohh and both love my shoes and fighting over them. I remember JJ walking around in my high heels and now I have 2 more little people doing the same.

They are confident little girls, running off at toddler groups to explore and try new things out. They chat to people when in their buggy but E can be more shy if someone comes to her rather than letting her initiate the conversation. I get so many stares and smiles on the streets when I am out with them both - it does remind me of how blessed I am to be a twin mummy.

M really loves her mummy, always wanting cuddles and to be held. I indulge her (and me!) sometimes but I am determined not to have clingy kids. I must do OK as JJ is just the right balance, happy to leave me and play alone but always coming back to play with me and have a snuggle. E will give you a snuggle at bed time but she saves her best love for Alfie, her teddy.

So in a nutshell M is loud, chatty, demanding, funny, hilarious in fact, cheeky, a clown! Whilst E
is more quiet, content, facially expressive, stubborn and just plain beautiful - outside and in.

JJ - 5.5 years
He is such a tall boy now, in age 7-8 year clothes. He is also quite mature in his conversational skills and has some fab chats with you about all sorts. Emotionally he is still very much his age and a boy! need I say more. He is like a Labrador puppy who has not yet grown into his paws. Often falling over or knocking people by accident - clumsy is the word to describe him!

JJ has a very keen mind and loves to learn, he plays imaginative games alot and writes himself registers, adverts, magazines, lists etc to aid his play or you might find him cutting out a walkie talkie for a game. His reading and maths are coming on well at school and he actually enjoys what he does - which is so important. He goes to a sports club each week and runs loads of energy off and enjoys that.

Loud is probably the single word I would use to describe JJ, as well as vivacious, full of life, complete fun, energetic, loving, bright, caring and handsome.

He adores his sisters and is so sweet with them most of the time, always trying to help and not really understanding where the boundary is, but he will learn.

Blah day!

Well the title sums it up really. I feel totally grumpy and blah today and there is no real reason why. I get like this sometimes but normally it is in the evening and then I just go to bed so the day is over and I wake in a much better mood. Today it is more of a problem as it is only 10am and I have felt blah for over an hour and boy is there lots of the day left yet! (dh is also at work, so it is just me and the kids).

I acually want to just cocoon in bed or on the sofa in silence and do nothing - perhaps watch crap TV and definately stuff my face.............. but of course I can not do that. That is probably the reason why I feel like this, my every thought is obsessing about food, I feel physcially tired, mentally lethargic, worthless, as if I am achieving nothing and my warped logic seems to think that food will help me but of course it will not. I got on the scales this morning and I had lost weight I must rememebr how great that feels and today I am wearing an outfit I have not worn for a while and whilst it is not perfect it feels OK, the top is a 20 rather than a size 22 or 24.

I must focus on and remember why I am taking this incredibly hard journey. I need to ensure that my kids are bought up without the issues that I have. I want them to be well rounded adults whose every thought is not taken up with food. They may be slim or slightly overweight, that will be their choice but I will do everything in my power to ensure that they will be healthy in both body and mind.

All of a sudden it comes to me - what must I do - turn this over to the Lord for this problem is too big and far too close to home for me to deal with alone. Jesus, please help me, be with me and show me your will, fill me with self-control and help me tackle this problem. I trust in you and I am at your mercy. Amen.

I feel slightly better now after a pray and writing this, so now I will change nappies and tidy the kitchen before I collect JJ from sports club. Perhaps I ought to dump the to do list today and just spend time with my kids enjoying them. I am sure I have mentioned before that one of my problems is that I define who I am by what I do, when actually I should be defined by who I am - just being me! Perhaps my self-confidence in this area wil increase in time.

Thanks for reading if you are out there!

Friday, 24 April 2009

Poo, Poo everywhere!

OMG! I seem to be surrounded by poo at the moment - I can not get rid of the smell.

Last night E decided to poo in the bath with the other 2 kids in there too! yuck, luckily dh dealt with that but I could still smell it and could not understand why until I got up and found I has sat on a big pattie of it on the bed! double yuck. So the bed and me got stripped and washed.

Then today M decides she ought to keep taking off her nappy and poos on the floor (on the crapet!) - I meant to write carpet but typed too fast and got the letters wrong and then decided to leave it as it touched my humour!)

So hopefully poogate is now finished!

ED Thursday Meeting

Well, I went last night and I was quite nervous but I listened to worship songs on the way there and had a good pray before I went into the meeting. I need not of worried, everyone was fantastic, so welcoming and I was able to see from one meeting that many people have the same problems and hang ups as I do.

This week I have decided to focus on having 3 meals per day and no snacking. Those meals must be planned the day before so I can free my mind of constantly thinking about food. Then if I am struggling during the day I will pray for help and not try to beat my demons myself. God is there for me, I just have to ask for his help.

I think this must be the right thing I am doing as it has not been that hard this morning - I am feeling focused. I have enjoyed the food I have had and I am drinking alot of water, which can only be good!

At the end of my bible reading for today (yep I am about 10 days behind schedule but.............. I only have 10 days left and then I have read my bible in a year! well a year and 10 days anyway lmao) I was reading Luke 12:22-31 and this reinforced the important message that I must seek Gods kingdom first and my needs will be met. Worrying is fruitless and damaging. It was great to read that affirmation this morning that I am doing the right thing in turning this problem over to the Lord and with the help of my ED group I think I will be OK.

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

A blog I am loving....

http://stickyfingers1.blogspot.com/ Fab blog that I have found recently and I love it. A fellow mummy just writing about her life but she has been doing it alot longer and certainly more eloquently than me!

Enjoy!

Stewardship

Been thinking about this for a few days now. I suppose Spring Harvest has really pricked my conscience and made me start to question things that I took for granted. I am so aware that whilst I try to be a good disciple of Christ (bet I sound like a religious nut now to those of you who do not actually know me! lol) I just do not meet the measure really, but like anything that is Ok as long as I really am trying my best and praying for help. I think I can be honest here though and say that I have probably not tried my best on many issues in the past.

I find that my conscience is getting louder and louder and small things that I took for granted before are now no no's, as I just can't shake the guilt if I do them. It is hard work this being a Christian lark!

Anyway back to stewardship, if you are not sure what I mean the Cambridge dictionary says a steward is "a person whose job it is to organize a particular event, or to provide services to particular people, or to take care of a particular place". So my understadning of Christian stewardship is that it is each of our responsibility to look after the earth and its people, as well as the money, family and posessions that God has kindly provided for us.

This wittering came about as I have just watched Goks fashion fix on TV and his new slogan is "buy less, wear more" and boy would I like to meet him so he could chuck out my wardrobe and do me one of those lovely capsule wardrobes with just 24 pieces, how simple would life feel? I guesstimate that currently I probably have in excess fo 300 items of clothing - without counting underwear, nightwear etc. Isn't that shocking? Who needs that amount of clothes - absolutley no-one. Some of it is about stuff I have bought to feel better and never did and much of it felt like bargains at the time and so was not! How much money have I wasted?

It seems to me that the more we get, the more we want and the more complex things feel and the harder decisions are to make. None of this fits in with the Christian way of life, hence I must think about changing. Hopefully OA will be a start towards this and to be honest I feel as if I am on the way to making some mental changes anyway. I have been doing so much thinking just recently.

Dh has a study aid at the moment called Simplicity, love and justice and it looks great, I will have a look once I finish the 4 books I have on the go at the moment! It talks about when there is so much injustice and poverty in the world how can we in the western world be thinking about spending more and just collecting things for the sake of it - so true!

Right better leave on that note and have some lunch before my beautiful babes wake up. Planning to clean the garden toys with the kids after I collect JJ from school. It is such a lovely day it does not matter if they get a tad wet.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Getting a buzz!

Been thinking this morning about how much I look to stupid things to 'feel better'. Nothing too untoward you understand, basically at the core I am a good girl and of course nowadays a good Christian girl (we need to use the term girl quite loosely, as I am now 35, coming on 36! lol).

The buzz I am talking about tends to be sought from either food or shopping and the more I think about why I seek either it seems to be to try and make myself feel better about me. I am really not so sure what I have to feel glum about but somewhere along the line I am not as happy as I should be. I do find that quite hard to come to terms with as I know so many people have far harder lives than I do.

I am sure if there was a psych here they would say that we are all different and I must acknowledge my problems and deal with them, not compare them to other peopels as we all have different needs and tolerance levels. So in a hope of being a more rounded person and a better parent/ wife/ friend I will try and acknowledge my problems and I think attending my Thursday meetings is a big step towards that.

Might be back later to add to this......................... will think on it.

Todays grace in small things

Nice and early this morning -

1. Been for a swim and it was lovely, feel all happy and refreshed, hence such an early posting
2. Dh cut the back lawn yesterday and saved me a job! yay
3. Our new lady at work is lovely and so keen to do well
4. I am feeling psoitive about starting my journey on Thursday, I think this is where God is telling me to focus right now
5. M was sick at nursery yesterday and I had to collect her slightly early - she is absolutley fine. Unfortunately she is sick a fair amount when she has a blocked up nose, the grace is that I now can not go to work tomorrow and I get to spend an extra morning with my lovely girlies.

Monday, 20 April 2009

Grace in small things

5 things I can find grace in today -

1. The team leaders meeting at work went well
2. dh is cooking me a gorgeous chicken roast dinner for when I get home
3. My little man JJ will be having a great time with his Godmother this afternoon
4. I get to go to the church home group tonight
5. We had a wonderful day at Whipsnade on Saturday and the kids all behaved beautifully

I am on a roll now, so here is no 6..........

6. The girls are getting really good with their dummies only being available to them in their cots

Merry Monday

I am at work today and have been in meetings all morning, so feel as if nothing has been achieved really and now it is lunch time! My favourite time of the day, as we well know! There is lovely cakes in the department today and I am sad to say I have not resisted.

I called yesterday about attending an eating disorders (ED) meeting and I am going to go along Thursday night and try it out. I am a bit nervous but I think it might be what I need. I have started to read through the 12 steps to see what I am letting myself in for and basically I will need to do a very honest and it appears quite lengthy review of myself. I have to write down all my faults and all the bad things I have done in the past and take a long hard look at myself. I will need to be really careful to ensure that I also record some positives or this could end up being quite a depressing exercise.

I will write here about how I am affected by following the ED programme, but of course I will not mention names, places or give any details for anyone else. I will just focus on my own personal journey...

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Twin love

It is the little things that often make me smile, especially when it comes to my kids.

This morning when I got up I gave the girls their drink of milk and left them to drink it and wake up in their cots. They have a book each and the music on, it just gives me enough time to shower etc.

I could hear M singing baa baa black sheep, well as good as a 21 month old can - it was cute! What was so much cuter was upon finishing E gave her a clap and shouted 'more, more'. If she can demand encores at that age, I think she could be a real star one day! lol

In general they are loving each other alot more nowadays. M especially loves E and will take any opportunity to give her a hug or kiss and very often knocks her to the floor and hurts her! Perhaps that is why E is not so fussed.

They have both developed a little habit of stroking the other one when they are crying. They also do it to JJ as well and it has a wonderful effect of knocking JJ out of a self-indulgent cry because he can not get his own way.

Friday, 17 April 2009

Pictures from Spring Harvest

Some pics of the kids enjoying themselves on all the rides that Butlins has to offer. They were all very brave and enjoyed themselves immensely.

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and on the way home - three sleeping beauties - well eventually, after M finally went off at 9.30pm!

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The weight issue

I weighed this morning and was pleased to see I have lost 5lb since being back from Spring Harvest, so that is 5lb in 4 days. It just shows what a difference it makes not having a cooked breakfast and a pudding after each dinner.

A and I have made a decision to stop all meals out and take aways in a bid to stop our fixation which food and where the next meal is coming from. I realise this is an emotional problem for me and I need to stop using food as my fix, in the same way an alcoholic does. I can take or leave alcohol but food is another matter. The problem is I can not go cold turkey and just give up the food as I always have to eat to survive. So I will try and change my mindset to allow for food to be a necessity rather than an obsession.

Easier said than done - the journey continues.........

Dummies to go............says the dentist.

We had our first visit to the dentist with the girls yesterday. They were both very good really. M laid back on Daddy and went for a ride on the chair but she was not overfussed to open her mouth and reveal all. From what the dentist saw she said that M's front teeth appear to be being pushed forward a bit and did she suck her thumb/ have a dummy? My heart dropped, as expected she told me we had to get rid of the dummy asap as it was affecting M's teeth development.

E was a good little girl and went for a ride on Mummy and with the promise of a Princess sticker she opened up for a full examinatin. Her teeth do not appear to have moved but of course if we take one dummy away, they will both have to go.

The girls are now 21 months and we planned to get rid of them at 2 years anyway, so you would think this should not be such a hassle but as parents we really have to steel ourselves sometimes to go through the nightmare of teaching discipline/ respect etc.

We faithfully came home with great intentions of the dummies being gone for good. I put the girls down for a nap, E, bless her got her Alfie teddy asked me for a dummy and I told her no, she rolled over and went to sleep. Beautiful - just how it should be! M on the other hand was inconsolable and screamed and cried for over an hour whilst calling for her best friend 'dum dum'. Unfortunately M has no special toy, the thing she loves is her parents and her dummy and none of those spend the night with her!

A and I have decided to wean the girls off, they can have them in their cots for a week or two and no where else (which means I have M screaming at me now as she is hungry and would normally have her dummy for 1/2 hr at this time of day). So step one has commenced and in a short while step two will and the dummies will be gone for good!

If I am honest I will miss having something that I know instantly soothes my babes and call me a bad parent but when there are two highly strung toddlers screaming at you it really helps sometimes.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Todays Grace in small things

Well, I was just about to go when I realised it woudl be nice to think of 5 things for today -

1. the new lady at work is doing well and seems lovely and even better I have found out she is a Christian
2. My babies missed me when I was at work today
3. JJ acting as Batman in his new outfit - I laughed my socks off
4. A gave me three kisses before he went out to Tescos a few minutes ago
5. I am watching the BBC1 programme, all the small things and it is great - a real feel good programe

Easy to do again. I do like this, it keeps you positive and helps you think about how blessed you are.

Tired girl

I am back! yay.....................as always it is good to be home but after 6 days away with my three looney childen at Spring Harvest (big Christian festival) I am sooo tired. We got back at about 11pm last night and after a brief bit of unpacking I went off to heavenly sleep in my big bed and then I was out to work at 7.45 this morning. So after coming back tonight and attacking the house which the kids had bombed all day I am now too tired to blog, which is a shame as there is lots I want to talk about. So I will be back tomorrow with some musings.

We had such an amazing time at Spring Harvest that I feel really reviatalised and have tons to chat about.....................................hold the front page!

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Grace in small things

I have stumbled across this website http://graceinsmallthings.ning.com/profiles/blog/list (sorry I am not clever enough to know how to add that as a one word link!) and I think it is a lovely idea. It does not appear to be a Christian website but it certainly has the right ethos. So here is 5 things for today -

1. My porridge for brekkie was delicious
2. The sun is shining
3. I am off to church in a moment
4. My Mum is here to stay for a few days
5. Adam has said we can have an extension to the house! yippie!

That was easy - expect a few more of these and I challenge you, come on - find grace in 5 small things each day.

Ever watched the film/ read the book - Polyanna? Where she plays the glad game and even when things are bad, she can always find something positive that she should be glad of. Same kind of concept really.

I am all shiney today - the world is a great place! SMILE

Strange delivery

I meant to say, last week I reecived a set of digital scales by post. I have no idea why they have come to me or who sent them? I am trying to track it down with the courier company at the moment.

It seems a bit ironic that I really need to shift weight and am doing quite hopeflessly at the moment and I get sent some weighing scales through the post - must be a message!

Just thought I would post in case anyone can shed any light for me. I do hope it is not a scam and by signing for them I have agreed to a massive charge on my credit card or something. Isn't this day and age crazy when the first thing you think is that someone is trying to con you?

Luckiest lady alive

Last night A and I went to the cinema (to see 'Knowng' with Nicholas Cage - strange film! Not sure if I liked it at all; really not good with films nowadays that involved sadness and parents. Will have to read Ezekiel again as there was a couple of references to that book in the film and as A and I came out we were wondering if the film was based loosley on the bible and the end of time).

Sorry, got sidetracked there! As I was saying we went to the cinema and when we got home I went to check on the kids, as Mum was staying all three of my babies were sleeping in the same room. I just love that, when I can walk in one room and see them all happily sleeping together, my big tall handsome boy, my checcky blond minx and my beautiful poppet all in one room - my heart was bursting with pride and love and I was reminded yet again I am the luckiest lady alive.

Thursday, 2 April 2009

More truth from JJ

Another little episode this morning of Jacob making me smile - maybe it is a Thursday thing!

We were walking to school this morning and I asked him if Daddy walked this way too (A has the kids on a Tuesday whilst I work), JJ 'Yes we do but we are always late mummy'. 'Oh why is that?' I ask and he responds 'because the girls will not get dressed in the morning for Daddy, they just run away when you are not there, so we alwasy have to run to school'.

I wonder if daddy realises that JJ is sharing his secrets with me! lmao

The Apprentice - I love it!

I love it! I actually was on count down ready for this new series to start. Then I get excited each week when it is Wednesday. I even have a few friends who are addicted as me and we text about what is happening!

Over the last few years I have received so many comments that I should apply to go on the show and if I am honest, if the Apprentice had been around when I was a childless confident sales manager aged 25, I probably would have! I watch it each week and know exactly what I would have done and how much better I would be! They all get so hung up with being on TV and showing themselves off to be the bigshot that they forget what Sir Alan likes and the things that piss him off. Come on, the series has been on enough years now that they should know better!

How about last night? fancy wearing togas to serve food for a top class canapes event - tacky. Then the girls team were no better - the size of those bagettes they were serving and trying to pass off as canapes. That Yasmina is supposed to be an award winning restauranteur, where does she work Poppins cafe?

So will I apply for a future series? sadly no. I fear I now have different responsibilities, just think how much I would miss those 3 little people if I disappeared for three months and then what about if I won (yep I am confident enough to think that could happen lol) would I ask Sir Alan for a job share role? I don't think he would like that one bit.

Therefore, I will be content to get angry with the contestants and tell the TV off each Wednesday night with a bemused A watching on.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Addicted to blogging...

Blogging is a funny old thing. I tried it last year and it did not work out - 4 miserable posts and that was it. Not sure what has happened since but I am LOVING it this time! I think about blogging all the time (how sad must my life be?) and I wonder what I will write about next and for the last couple of days the Robert Palmer song 'Addicted to love' keeps going through my head and I just keep singing 'you know you might as well face it, you are addicted to blogging!'. I have little pictures of all those tall women in black dresses laying instruments like in his video.

Sometimes I come on here and think - I wonder if there will be any comments and there has not been yet this year and in one way I am relieved as I can feel confident that my wittering is just read by me and then I feel a little dissapointed as I know a few people have the address and you do just sort of feel as if you are chatting to yourself. I read one blog earlier where she talked of chatting to herself in a empty room, I suppose that is a good description. So is anyone there and reading? let me know, leave me a comment and make my day!
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